29 and feeling fine

Hi!  I know it’s been about two months since I posted. I entered a funk and didn’t really feel like posting negative things online. I figured taking a little break would be good.

Over the past little bit I had a couple more interviews (phone and in person) but still nothing yet. I’ve registered with another agency and I’m hoping it brings more luck.

A couple weeks ago I decided that I need to let go of all the negative stuff and be more positive. My life isn’t that bad. Actually it’s not bad at all. So I decided to stop sulking and move one. I stared reading a couple books and they’ve seem to be helping. I’ll try to do a review on those later. But besides that everything else is good.

On Tuesday (May 13^th) I turned 29. Oh boy, the last year before the big 3-0. My week was filled with surprises. I was finding my presents in my work bag, around my apartment. And then on Friday, my boyfriend and Lola threw me a surprise birthday party. To say I was shocked is an understatement. My reaction was so slow. I had no idea what was going on. I had a great time with my family and friends. Last night showed me how truly blessed I am. I have amazing people in my life, my health, a home, a job. There are no reasons for me to ever not be happy. I get that from time to time we get into moods. But going forward I refuse to take it the level I’ve been I the last few weeks. I have so much to going for me. Yeah I don’t like my job but something is coming and it will be here soon.

I’m going to try my best to come up with a schedule for this blog/journal. And hopefully it works this time.  I am back in school now so hopefully I’ll able to manage it all.

Oh and to help with my positivity I will start writing in a gratitude journal. I figured this would be a a way to remind myself things are actually pretty good.

A December to remember…part two

Do you ever have a dream, wake up and think ‘what the hell does that mean?!’ Well that’s what happened to me. I had a dream I went out dancing with my dad and sister.  We were having a good time until I looked down at my feet and noticed I didn’t have any shoes on.  I thought it was weird because who dances without shoes and in my dream I had the memory of wearing shoes. As I looked ahead of me I saw three brand new pairs of shoes waiting for me. I walked up and chose a pair…then woke up.

As soon as the sleep is out of my eyes I head over to Dream Moods (there’s an app) to see what the dream meant. I look up dancing and it states ‘To dream that you are dancing signifies freedom from any constraints and restrictions. Your life is in balance and in harmony. Dancing also represents frivolity, happiness, gracefulness, sensuality and sexual desires. You need to incorporate these qualities in your waking life….To dream that you are attending or going to a dance indicates a celebration and your attempts to achieve happiness. Consider the phrase the “dance of life” which suggests creation, ecstasy, and going with what life has to offer you.’ Okay, not bad. Next I look up the number three.  It tells me the number ‘three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, creativity, energy, self-exploration and experience. Three stands for a trilogy, as in the past, present, and future or father, mother, and child or body, mind, and soul, etc. Dream of the number three may be telling you that the third time is the charm.’ Okay, so far so good. Next I look shoes.  ‘In general, shoes represent your approach to life. Wearing shoes in your dream suggests that you are well-grounded or down to earth. It also represents your convictions about your beliefs. If you are changing your shoes, then it refers to your changing roles. You are taking a new approach to life. If you forget your shoes, then it suggests that you are leaving behind your inhibitions. You are refusing to conform to some idea or attitude. To see old and worn shoes in your dream indicates that you will find success through hard work and diligence. You have come to terms about who you are….To dream that you are not wearing any shoes indicates that you have low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in yourself. You are dealing with issues about your self-identity.  Alternatively, to dream that you are not wearing shoes represent your playful attitudes and relaxed, carefree frame of mind. You have a firm grasp and good understanding on a situation. If you dream that you lose your shoes, then it suggests that you are searching for your identity and finding yourself.’

So what did I take from this…Um, I’m soul searching, sometimes I’m too hard on myself and a change and good things are coming :). Anyways time to get ready for work.

At work that day we had a pizza lunch with cake to celebrate the work anniversaries. My manager gave a little speech and thanked us for all of hard work and said how much she appreciates us. She also told us that changes are coming…joy.  My mentor (who happens to be my manger’s boss) gave a speech as well thanking us for our hard work but also told us to get out while we still can lol. Just as everyone was finishing up their cake, my phone rang. It was a private number. I don’t usually answer private numbers but something told me to. I dismissed myself from the party and found a quiet corner in the lunch room to take the call. I answered it and was ecstatic to find out that it was a HR rep from a company I had applied to. I had a phone interview right there on the spot. Although I was prepared for it, I felt like my personality came through a lot more. She told me I’d hear back from her in the next couple of days. I went back to my desk smiling and feeling confident. That was two phone interviews in two days. I was on a roll and then I humbled myself. No need to get overly excited because I still had a ways to go.

I spent the next few days studying for my exam. It was hard to focus because all I could think about was the second phone interview I had. Monday morning I was doing some last minute review for my exam when my phone rang, another private number. I started shaking, nerves. I just knew it was the HR rep calling back from my second phone interview. I let the call go to voice mail. She left me a message saying the hiring manger wanted to meet with me.  Good thing this was a message I was listening to because I let out a little scream.  As soon as I calmed my nerves, I called her back and set up a time to go in for an interview the upcoming Thursday. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. Once I was finished smiling my face off, I got ready and left to write my exam.

Once the exam was out of the way I spent the rest of the week preparing for the interview. What was I going to wear? What are they going to ask me? How am I going to answer? Thank goodness for Lola, she saved me and let me borrow a nice navy blue button down shirt to wear under my blazer.  Mr. Man would randomly ask me interview questions to help me prepare.  Shaunie and Aly were very supportive and told me not worry, I would knock them dead.  And there were was my family who told me the job was already mine and I just had to claim it.

Maybe my dream was right, maybe I’d be changing roles….

A little change never hurt nobody…

After deciding to finish my accounting designation, I realized that I would for sure need a new job. I’ve previously stated how unhappy I am at my current job.

Over the past couple of months nothing has changed.  I don’t feel like part of the team.  I feel that my surroundings aren’t very professional. I’m not saying I’m all work and no play because I like to play. I just feel that the lines are frequently blurred. Also with my five year work anniversary approaching, the clock in my head has been getting louder; it’s time for me to go.

Working for this company has taught me a lot but it seems like the last two years have kind of been a waste. And for where I see myself going, I have to make a change and leave. So the first step was looking at my resume.

The resume I had been using wasn’t getting me any bites.  And after sending it to a recruiter and not hearing anything back, I realized I really needed to change it.  It was all over the place. Yeah it’s good that I had some experience but what good was it if it didn’t apply to the job. Now I know what you’re saying…’Tee come on now you should know better’..and I did. But looking back, I think me not putting any real effort into my resume was me sabotaging myself and hold myself back. So I re-did my resume and got it down to a nice eye-catching 1 page. As soon as I did it, I applied for a job. That same day I heard back from company.  Well kinda. I received an email asking salary expectations and asking if I was willing to travelling to another part of town, which I was definitely up for because it was right on the subway line.  Well I guess the HR representative didn’t like my answer for salary expectations because I didn’t hear back from her. But I didn’t let that stop me. I applied for two others jobs that week and felt confident about them.

I know job hunting can be a long process; it can take months. But I’m willing to put the work in because I I know it’s time for me to move on.